Why Didn't You Come Back?
by thepurplewriter333
Summary: During Hiccup and Valka's stay in the Dragon Sanctuary, Hiccup finally confronts his mother on why she never came back to Berk after all these years. One-shot.


**Okay, I've been wanting to write this for quite a while now.** **Ever since I saw HTTYD 2, I've been thinking,** _ **Why did Valka never come back to Berk?**_ **I mean, she could've stopped the Dragon War if she had shown that she was alive and that dragons were really good. But did she try? No. NOT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST.** **Then, I decided that I needed to write her side of the story. Why she didn't come back, why she let everyone think she was dead, and other stuff.**

 **Who agrees that Valka is a** **terrible mother? Well, I get ya.**

 **So, we're gonna take a peek inside what REALLY happened…**

* * *

Hiccup cocked his head, staring over at Valka.

It had only been an hour since he had learned his once-thought-dead mother was alive, and every moment with her was still as shocking as the first time they met just earlier. The mother and son were in the Dragon Sanctuary now, and Valka was showing Hiccup all the dragons she had rescued.

Hiccup was utterly amazed at all his mother had done in those years she was absent. Any injured dragon had been repaired with a piece of her clever work, and Valka seemed to live in harmony with the dragons. But what amazed him the most was the Bewilderbeast. It was twice as large as the queen dragon he had fought five years ago, and he couldn't imagine anything capable of taking it down.

Valka turned to Hiccup, smiling as she finished going through the last dragon. "So… do you like it?" Her words were hopeful, but they made Hiccup feel slightly angry. Of course, he had just learned his mother was actually _alive_ , and the first thing she wanted to talk about was her dragons.

Not ask about him.

Not say sorry for leaving.

And not mention coming back to Berk, even when she could've.

Hiccup swallowed. "This is where you've been for twenty years?" Valka nodded, and Hiccup continued. "You've been rescuing them… unbelievable."

His mother looked confused. "You're… not upset?"

Hiccup was about to reply with a, "Nah, it's fine, I'm used to it," as he always did when he was faced with a situation like this, but this time, he paused. He _was_ upset. For twenty years- all of Hiccup's life- Valka had let everyone think that she was dead and that dragons were monsters. And she hadn't yet given a reason why.

"Well… I have to ask you," Hiccup started, staring at the ground uncomfortably. "I get that you like staying here. I understand how amazing dragons really are, and being here for such a long time might've seemed little to you… but it was a long time for me. Why didn't you come back?"

Valka winced. She looked like she wanted to walk over and comfort her son, but she didn't. That made Hiccup feeling even worse. "Hiccup, I..."

"Don't give me any excuses," Hiccup interrupted, his voice surprisingly angry. "I want to know the truth. My whole life, I lived like an outcast. Dad was never there for me, I was picked on by the other kids for being a… a _runt,_ and, oh, I also had no mother. Do you know how hard that was? Living like that for fifteen years before things finally changed?"

Hurt, Valka rubbed her chin. "I wanted to return," she admitted, her expression full of pain. "But… I could not."

"Yes, you could," Hiccup pushed. "If you came back and proved that dragons were good, everything would have been different. I would never have lived my life like I did, we would finally be a family, no more dragons would be killed, and I wouldn't have lost my leg trying to save Toothless." He gestured to his prosthetic, and Toothless grunted in support from next to him.

"I never meant for any of this to happen," Valka explained. She finally walked over to Hiccup and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I wanted to be there for my husband and my son. To see you grow up… have many more years ahead of Stoick and me..."

"Then why didn't you come back?"

His mother paused for a moment, and she nodded. "I tried," she said, surprising Hiccup. "I tried to come back on Cloudjumper. I wanted peace with the dragons, and I was sure I could bring it to Berk. I wanted to make peace spread all over the archipelago…"

Hiccup raised an eyebrow, curious. "You didn't come back, though. If you say you tried, then what happened?"

Valka sighed, her face aging years in moments. "Drago happened."

"Drago? You mean Drago Bludvist?"

"Yes." Valka rubbed her forehead. "I was on my way home with Cloudjumper. We were halfway to Berk when I spotted a fleet of ships headed towards the Dragon Sanctuary. I wanted to continue onto Berk, but I needed to check on the dragons once last time… just to make sure they were safe."

Hiccup stiffened, already guessing what would happen.

"When I arrived, the ships were already there. And then I realized what kind of ships they were: _Dragon Hunter ships."_ She shivered, looking away from Hiccup. "That's when they started to attack the Dragon Sanctuary. I had no choice but to return to fight, and, with the dragons' help, we managed to fend the hunters off."

Hiccup's blood went cold. "What happened after that? Didn't you want to come back to Berk more than ever?"

Valka turned back to him, slightly nodding. "I did. Another problem arose, though. So many dragons were injured from the fight… it took me two months to finally fix them all up. If I hadn't been there when I had… many more dragons would've died."

Narrowing his eyes, Hiccup straightened, looking more over at Toothless than his mother. "So, you just decided to stay forever at the Dragon Sanctuary after one attack? Because you were too scared to leave?"

"No, you don't understand, Hiccup," urged Valka, her hand hovering above Hiccup's cheek like she wanted to take away his pain. When Hiccup flinched in return, Valka pulled away. "I did try to leave. Many, many times after that. But then Drago's attacks grew more frequent… I was forced to remain locked inside the Dragon Sanctuary, caring for more wounded dragons and working out plans to defeat Drago once and for all."

"When was this?" Hiccup asked quietly. "When did this all start?"

Valka's eyes filled with tears. "Just a month after I was taken…" Her voice broke. "I tried, Hiccup. I did try… Drago grew too powerful in that time… I was forced to make a decision: return to Berk, and leave the dragons for dead; or, stay in the Dragon Sanctuary and make sure that another generation of dragons would survive."

Hiccup winced. "So, you chose dragons before your family?" That hurt him deeply. His own mother had chosen to abandon her son to stay with dragons and never had cared to reveal that she was alive during that time.

"Hiccup, I always knew you were strong," Valka smiled. "I knew that you could handle being on your own just long enough until I could return."

"Oh, so you _planned_ to return?" Hiccup said sarcastically, starting to walk away. "What got in the way- a flight with Cloudjumper? Some bonding time with the Bewilderbeast?" He knew he was being unfair, but he couldn't help it. "I needed you, Mom. But you weren't there. Ever. I didn't even have any memories of you to hold onto. I was truly alone at that time..."

Valka walked after Hiccup, and grabbed his shoulders in urgency, turning him to face her. "I never meant to abandon you," she whispered. "I was just holding out until the time was right. I promised myself that I would return someday, and I knew that you would somehow manage without me. You had your father."

Hiccup sighed. "Yeah, he wasn't much help either. He disowned me a few years back."

Valka's eyes snapped wide open. "What?" she gasped. "Stoick? No…" How could Stoick have abandoned Hiccup? She never would've dreamed it... their own baby boy...?

"Yeah," Hiccup agreed, rubbing the back of his head. "Once he found out I had secretly trained a dragon, and also tried to train a Monstrous Nightmare in the kill ring, he blew up. It eventually led to me losing my leg... he accepted me again after I had saved Berk from the queen dragon... but we're not talking about that right now." His gaze hardened on his mother. "We're talking about you."

Unable to hold herself back any longer, Valka wrapped her arms around Hiccup and brought him in for a hug. She pressed her chin to his shoulder, silently pushing back tears. "I'm so sorry, Hiccup… you don't understand how hard it was to leave all these dragons to die. It was… impossible."

Hiccup suddenly found himself softening. Wouldn't he have done the same thing? Leaving Toothless behind to... die... would be unfathomable. His anger vanished. "Yeah, I guess I can relate to that. I never could leave any dragon for dead. Not when there's a chance of saving them."

"Hiccup… I know my actions have been…. unforgivable," Valka explained, blinking back more tears. "But I hope someday, you'll be able to forgive me. And I'll let you be until that time comes. I'm sorry…."

Hiccup patted his mother on the back. "It's okay, Mom. I…" He paused. "I forgive you. You barely had a choice. You're right- saving all of these dragons is was more important than coming back to Berk to comfort your husband and son. Though I needed you sometimes... the dragons needed you more."

Valka sighed, some of the guilt relieved from her shoulders. "I would never choose any dragon over my family in the end, though. I love you, Hiccup. More than I can express in words."

Hiccup nodded, a faint smile tugging at his lips. "I'm glad… and…" He swallowed. "Mom, I love you too."


End file.
